Invitation

Good Morning !

It is 7:30 am  on a lazy Saturday as I am goaded to write, by a few crooks who really take time to read what I write. This is for them.

The weather has warmed a little even as we continue to wear a sweater or two waiting for summer to come. The birds around are particularly lavish in their “Good Morning” and other how-do-you-dos as I sit in my balcony to write to you. Well, they know it for sure that it is not only a Saturday morning but also the beginning of a long and cherished weekend.

A point in perspective would be that a beginning that usually seems so promising, an end that is always so much with in reach and a goal that is achieved in the mind’s eye, ere long we start working towards it. Such a thought promises us something we have always heard about in fairy tales and bed time stories …, "The Happily Ever After…”. A time and place where time is infinity for we may spend it to our liking and though we may most utilize it, we can be faster that the rate at which time is shrinking before we get to our goal.

Time is Shrinking here and now, between the thought and the action, between the idea and the execution…(T.S. Eliot??)…This is a genius of time it is most adept at concealing. Shrinking but never vanishing…

All of this boils down to the “when we were young…” perspective of the good souls who started with a lot of zeal and passion but non-essentials, misdirected actions stole more that the time devoted to them.

There is a fine silken net in time, not of time but in time…this silken net filtered their intentions and activities, where good intentions filtered out to infinity, the misdirected and misaligned activities, on account of the matter they are made of, could not pass to that Universe, the other side of the silken net where time is infinity, beautiful and ever-expanding, not because it undergoes a morphological change, but because each goal/intention aligned activity when realized adds to the infinity of time.

How relaxing it is to sit back and wish that all events fall in place so as to assist us to reach out to this other side of time where the soul potential is so stretched that time can be seen in perspective. But the truth being, events seldom fall in place to assist us, they may help but NOT assist, complement or flatter our expectations. And a couple of the untoward sorts, shatter confidence resulting in loss of perspective, weakening of the sense of goal and the other side of the Silken Net remains only that, the Other Side. We can see through it, we may see it all happening on the other side but now and henceforth promise to call it “things that could have been”. 

Good News is that it does not end here.

By nature, Nature is an optimist, it will, as says Paulo Coelho, keep sending you indications through Omens. Omens inspire as they talk of a higher Plan telling us what should be done, that our talents are important, it is necessary to use them at this point of time, NOW.

The decision to whether or not listen to the plan higher than us is entirely ours. We may dismiss the Omen and decide against our own happiness that the Right Time to complete the task is long past (BTW there is no Right Time to finish, whenever finished is the Right Time), thinking probably that too little can be now done. On the contrary, we may decide that we simply need to reach the other side of this Silken Net, where no time is too late and no task too big. That Universe where only out thoughts and actions can take us to. This silken net may explain as to why certain extremely talented people rise to popularity in a very short time only to be lost in the oblivion a little while later. Nature rewards persistence as written by the great poet T. S. Eliot

“The lot of man is ceaseless labour,

Or ceaseless idleness, which is still harder,

Or irregular labour, which is not pleasant”

--------(Choruses from “The Rock”)

Persistence is the only way to build a consciousness so subtle that will easily glide over to the OTHER SIDE.

So I have written this spiel only to invite you to a discussion over a cup of tea, there on the other side, where I aspire to be, and I am only beginning….Let us meet then…everyday…and we may discover another finer net of divine silk threads, to make us aspire to greatness and infinity…Amen.

Lest I die...

Opinionated, i may sound....but this one thing about death has really made me wonder. Death may be anything, but what matters most about it is the suddenness of death. "Not even a Goodbye could be afforded God?", well, that is the question I wanted to ask the One, and the only one. Is death seemingly sudden only  to those who are still alive (Atleast those of us on earth) or is it the same for the subjects as well.

Nevertheless, what saddens me is the suddenness. It seems just like we are all climbing, clambering up a hill if you llike it, and suddenly we make that last move and take the last step to that valley. i do not venture to say we fall, we may simply fly away, for death may have a power to give us those wings, that make all obstacles and hurtful things, just that, redundant. 

This is to death... Had it been thus, that before dyeing, a person would be accorded a moment to meet every one, one met, laughed with, shared sorrows with, had dinner with, traveled on the metro with, flirted with, with enemies and friends alike, just to say, "Good Bye, and Thank you!" Just these words, why did God make it that way, that death catches us unawares. God, could it not be more pleasant ?. Like, first a dream, a signal of death. The person now prepares for his or her death, and tries and meets everyone, lives that last few days with the fullest zeal and does not bother for the trivial things in life, that really do not matter if I die tomorrow....But sorry, I believe such a life would be more painful than the surprise of death. I just wish, if after death could be a warm welcome, and another, Better Life, hopefully it shall be like that....

Again, Lest I die tomorrow, i shall thank you today. 

And why Lest....? It is certain, did someone promise eternity, no, may be longevity, but not eternity, so death is not sudden at all. Death at best is a drastic step nevertheless, but is the most certain thing on earth. And thus i feel life is best lived in uncertainty, as Morgan Freeman says in the movie "The Shaw Shank Redemption", " And i , I feel like a free man at the beginning of his journey, the end of which is uncertain"

Thus in vain have I avoided Uncertainty, while reminding myself of such an inherent and all pervading Uncertainty will make me embrace Certainty with out the need to wait and say , "Good bye, And Thank you!" for worse, I may never be able to say them, Lest I die tomorrow...

For saying good bye hurts the most, especially when it means a Good Bye for good...probably we have been spared of such an ordeal.....and hopefully, there shall be no good bye's but only occasions when we say so...

No i wont end it there, I have written this as it seems more like a duty to me to write about this particular thing we wish not to think about....Have a good day!!

Walking on a HILL

Charles H Spurgeon's famous quote, "Humility is to make a right estimate of one's self"

There are promises, kept for the heck of it, kept well and not kept. Here I am talking of promises not kept.

If you have heard Baz Luhrmann's lyrics in "Sunscreen", please try remember the line that talks about the "Real Troubles in life", which will be those that blindside you on the noon of some uneventful day...

1. Okay, it was almost 7 pm as i stepped out for the customary evening walk, crossing the traffic signal by probably 7:20. I think I can vividly remember thinking about Debbie who used to tell me that a woman is safest when she is back home before dark, and the most developed nation in the world was no exception to this fact according to her. By 7:30 I was on the causeway, but this time the new faces disturbed me, for no other reason but because they were new. Among these unfamiliar faces, i spotted Dorris. Okay, Dorris and i met almost every day, shared howdy's and sallied forth with our individual routines. I can't claim we knew each other, we did not...! But this evening was different. I felt relieved on having spotted her and we walked up and down together. She told me it was not safe to be out with out a car at this hour and insisted that she'd drop me home. I instantly agreed. Now we started talking about her family. She had 4 kids, a husband and 2 dogs. Originally from Thailand, she had come to USA with her husband in the 80's (this made me think that she was pretty MUCH older than I was). It was an interesting story. Her husband was in Thailand on business and was staying in the hotel where Dorris worked. Somehow, they fell for each other and one day he asked her if she would like to come to USA with him, obviously she blushed at the proposal (though she omitted saying this, but I could make out..:)) but later agreed when he proposed her for marriage as well. Since then she has been there with her husband and kids. And then she talked a little about her daughter of which I remember nothing. We then discussed Thai Cuisine, tapering on to Indian curries and vegetables, and it was here that I made a promise. Probably, i successfully made this impression on her that Indian Cuisine is much more than curry and spices...."I will cook beans and carrots the Indian way and get it for you tomorrow" I promised as i got down from the car. "Look forward" she said enthusiastically.

Such a simple promise, never thought I wouldn't be able to keep this one. Sometimes i think what would have Dorris thought of my sudden flight to the oblivion in so far as our little evening walk was concerned. Probably she has seen much more life than i had so as to not wonder...

2. I was waiting at the library. We were to meet for the first time today. Chris told me she would come by 9 am or so after her Pilate classes. And so I waited. At some minutes past nine she walked in, brisk, slight and cheerful. "Oh ! Good Morning, Chris talked to me about you, How are you doing this morning", she said "Perfect, How about you..." With this she opened the beautiful library, tiny and filled with books related to religions, mainly Christianity (now i got the obsession when another woman at mass asked me what is the Hindu Belief and I was speechless, till the time i told her that we believe in One God, seemed even politically correct, though my first thought was "Oh....I never thought about this"). 

"I made some banana bread and got some for you , thought you'd like it" she said as she opened her cabin and unpacked her stuff. Were we meeting for the first time, was my first thought and then I was extremely thankful. I do not remember how many times I said "thank you" but clearly I overdid it, not so much for the bread as for the gesture. Later, we talked about her family and her daughter and her dietitian who had unveiled the secret of beautiful skin to her, it was "Water, plain, not carbonated, unsweetened and thus boring Water" and she kept chewing some cabbage leaves for lunch ( she was about 70-75 years old). About this time, after having understood my duties at the library, where I was supposed to serve every Tuesday, I looked up all the shelves and saw "Great Religions of the World" published by the National Geographic. Seemed interesting. I took the book and the banana bread, promised to return this book on the next Tuesday. I reached the apartment, just in time as it was now stormy weather outside. How I sampled the Banana bread with coffee and liked it too. One thing i am happy about is that i called Barbara and told her how nice the bread tasted, thanks once again. But the promise for the "very expensive" book could not be kept. Again, as with Dorris, I wonder if Barbara was beyond wonderment to understand that one moment was enough to change life, anyone's, and may be mine had changed.

 Many promises and most of them made to myself have not been kept. But the two above are particularly painful for may be I never will get a chance to even meet these people, worse, may be they wont even remember my promise. For i wanted to ceremoniously thank Tim, Kelly's husband, who really thought well, I wanted to abuse the British lawyer whom I do not wish to name here for being such a mercenary, thank the African American couple (who were probably engaged in recycling waste from dry cleaners) who were kind enough to drop me to my place on my first day in the southern storm, meet Mr. Manish Soni and thank him for the selfless "service" he had so gracefully rendered for a noble cause, meet Abal and tell him that probably some dreams are best left unfulfilled, for we do not have the guts they charge, meet Nasreen, the Pakistani lady who minted money....I just wanted to see the living face of consumerism, and lastly to collect those Cherokee trousers in the apartment opposite to Lakshmi di's, for I know not what fate met them.....such are the mysteries of life, and may be , gentle reader, you will curse me for having read this for it may mean nothing to you, but I had to write this one....For Grace...!

Forgive me as the names mentioned in the post are most unrelated to you, but even in your life these characters will appear bearing different names....

So, let me think of my next post now....


Good Night...!

\

Transcending squares and other regular polygons

Hi there!
I have the Indian Express, Chandigarh Edition on my desk. One of the headlines, somehow, caught my attention, and with that reappeared a few moments which I spent at the Kashmere gate metro station, hitherto these moments were salted away in some stray corner of my minds workshop.

"SC lifts Maharashtra dance bar ban, says it is unconstitutional", says the headline.

A bench with honorable Chief Justice of India, Altamas Kabir and Justice S S Nijjar upheld the Bombay High Court verdict, which gave a very sensible and logical reason for declaring that any such ban on a particular profession was unconstitutional.

Now let us, together, recollect that particular morning, though very uneventful, in Delhi. I was supposed to travel to Delhi Mumbai by the 9:30 flight. Now, in order to reach the airport, we have in Delhi a very convenient arrangement of the Metro air link. Also having not much baggage, I felt that the safest way to travel from Kashmere gate to IGI Airport was the metro link, the decision seemed even better as I was to travel at 4 : 30 am. Not only safe, but also economical.

The taxi dropped me at at the Kashmere gate metro station at 4:45 (why was I there at 4; 45 is a different story, it was a continuous journey from some other place, so let us forget that part as it is of no consequence). I got down with my luggage and saw many other people, predominantly men waiting for the metro station gate to open. Cool. I still had a 15 minute window to stand and stare before getting back to my regular polygon.

As I was the only female around till then, I was over alert and that is a real pain. But lo! I saw an attractive female, very skinny, wearing a very attractive outfit (which somehow, I would have considered unsafe as it attracted much attention). This gave me an uncanny relief. She appeared from nowhere, confident in her stride, she walked up to the lorry selling Jaljeera, had a glassful, put paid to this guy. Walked further to the Pan ka Galla, lit  a cigarette and stood there smoking, oblivious to stares or comments.
A couple of minutes later, came another beautiful girl, again clad in an outfit that made me now wonder what may be the reason for hanging around on this busy street with such devil-may-care attitude. What was the reason that these women were tarrying on the edge considered most vulnerable for a woman. They may be associated with any odd profession, but why would someone want to expose oneself to such circumstances that may engender irreparably harmful consequences. Now as the two of them, together crossed the street and were on the other side, I kept staring, till I could no longer see 'em.

Here I was still standing inside the regular polygon of morality, sides of which are dictated by religion, fear, society, education, economic strata, comfort, repression and know not how many sides does this polygon conform to. We add sides to such polygons every moment, in every choice, in every transaction. Now, let us assume that we keep on adding sides to our polygon, one moment the number of such sides reaches infinity, now, our polygon turns in to a circle, then, as is our nature we still keep adding dimensions that reflect not as sides now but as an expanding circle, just see what has happened....!! We were trying to constrain our polygon by adding numerous, infinite restrictions (symbolically sides), but when we keep doing this for a long time, such restriction is doing exactly opposite of what is the "moral" (irony intended) intent of doing so, in the parlance we end up creating a larger region, that will keep gaining and eventually become all encompassing....that is the place we actually belong to...this place knows no boundaries of good, bad, moral, immoral, small, big, important, unimportant, useful, useless, safe, easy, correct etc.

Is crime part of the criminal's  psychology or that of the victim? Going by the way some people plan to ban scantily clad mannequins wearing lingerie, deemed as "titillating", we may be forced in to a Burqua system. The best way to avoid wrongdoing is to avoid the "Doing" part outright. Instead of building a progressive culture, we wish to be dictated by whims of those who do not wish to get to the root of this criminal syndrome, pushing us in to a vicious regressive cycle...let us not be swayed by what is moral/immoral, let us all be first wise enough to decide for ourselves, probably that should solve most of the problems sans government interference.

Let us aim at education, exposure, governance, tolerance, non-discrimination...It all starts with us, and thus only we have the potential to nip the criminal intent right in the bud.

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there." - Rumi

Ishq Sufiyana...!

Isn't it a very deservedly popular song, Ishq Sufiana. It is always that this image of love, as a kind of devotion, has a mesmerizing effect on this writer. That brand of love which asks for nothing in return and love becomes it's own reward, its own nourisher, its own beneficiary and benefactor. Is this sort of love possible.Somehow I am sure God blesses us with this particular genre of love.
Here, in this particular post, i am talking of love in a way, that a person loves her work, her passion, love for any creative expression, be it tangible, audible, but flowing right from the heart. Such love is indifferent to bouquets and brickbats the we may be greeted with on our way to where we want to go. Such love that is self-sufficient is not a "Mauhtaj" of an external object of desire, not of approvals and results/rewards are undesired and usually uncared for. The love that will make "our" definition of love seem alien and so much painful and self-defeating.

And I am so sorry that I have no words to define such a love.

I want to write to my Creator that let me be blessed with that brand of love, for with out the Supreme sanction such a great gift can not be received. Thank you for brandishing my vain goals and dressing down my articulations and affectations. I am not sorry for them as they brought me closer to you somehow. It is so surprising that most insults, bad times and tough ordeals have infact brought me closer to myself, brought me closer to the one who is the source of such love. In all the defeats and ordeals faced until now, there hasn't been one that was without a reason. And the reason has always brought one closer to reality, humbled me and made me more human. Taught me that everything pure and perfect exists and that too much closer than we can imagine, that is with in. But it is most difficult to appreciate things that are closer, they seem too ordianry to be appreciated. And the ordinary is actually the most valuable-I am thankful that there is no rationing on the most important things in life. Thank you, as what ever is most necessary for a great survival, has been given to me free of cost. Thank you God, this is the first time I go public with such heartfelt thanks.

Days have been particulary taxing and unusual, but with in this turmoil and madness, I have found a purpose, a place, a place that is virgin, uncharted by fears, good, bad, ugly, right or wrongs. That is the kingdom of dreams, and i can fly over to that place as and when i find myself in an unsolvable dilemma, most of the problems that one encounters, one has no power to solve, but possesses only resource. For, the only power granted to humankind is Will-power and faith, all others are resources to get the tinkering right. I do not blame you if you do not believe me, cause just some time back all this was as alien to me as it may today sound to you. But, I have come to believe that the greatest happiness is the one delivered, and the greatest pain is that suffered in seclusion and loneliness. I pray very earnestly that may no one suffer such pain ever. We are all enough fortunate to share grief, our's or someone else's. The greatest fear is that of weakness, of impending sorrow, of impending doom. The greatest freedom is freedom from this fear and the greatest benefactor is faith and love. The greatest teacher is illusion that greets us all the way, and one by one it lifts those veils, tantalizing and never showing its true face for it has none. But illusion has taught one that lessons are meant to be learnt, veils to be lifted and life enjoyed. Wit all its vagaries and travails, life is a great experience. i am happy i am having this.

Believe me, today I want to thank God for the ordeals placed before me, Tough tests keep us focussed on what is necessary and ignore what is superficial.

Coming back to that love, which is like a prayer offered, a dua proffered, a hand held on a rough road, an unforgettable experience, so pure that you do not want to disturb its purity by discussing it, it is only to be experienced, that is what it was made for, that is what life was made for, Experience, and learning. If there is one healer ever created, it is graitude, being grateful makes us happiest. Am I asking for too much and getting too misty about things,....may be! but this is a free flow of thoughts and nothings kinda can successfully stop it.

Have a great time till we meet again. Love yourself and the ordianry, for that is the most important.

Which Way Heaven...

When I read the great masterpiece Madhushala by the excellsior himself, Late Shri Harivansh Rai Bacchhan ji, I always feel that the Pathik is always asking these questions like "Which way heaven?", "How far form here? How long will it take?", while he goes about his journey, he contantly imagines what heaven must be like, this or that, the imagination as such is always dictated by the desires and regrets as well as aspirations and experience gathered after years of wanderlust. Human choices are very complex equations, never perfectly balanced, for there is actually no balance, for the outcome will vary with each variable used, so many number of times and added or subtracted from an infinitude that is made up of such numerous smaller equations. It is that sometimes it seems that we are not making the choice, but the choice is making us. And well, do you have the gall to deny this, I don't think so!

says Bazz Luhrmann, "Your choices are half chance and so are everybody else's."

Sometimes we can simply imagine a choice and bring it to the 3 dimensional material universe and sometimes, in fact most of the times, we may be also be able to influence the 4th dimension of Time. So says the rule of reversibility, or what ever it is called. They say that there are two ways the universe works. Number one is mundane. We see the thing first and the image in the mind is formed later and then we recognize what our worthy eyes are seeing. The other way is interesting, first you have to see something in the mind and then will you see it right there in front of your eyes. It is very true, reverse reaction will take up energy and will not take place until the catalyst of Will is not present, but with these two present in necessary and sufficient amounts, it will be done.

It is very comforting to know that there are several things that will always be out of the domain of general understanding, such is the domain of faith, it exists if you know it does, if you think it does not, well, it thinks the same and disappears. Thus most of our philosophers might propound that will is an important instrument to realize and materialize our most mundane ideas, wishes, etc. But more important is the faith which comes only when one is sure that with this materialization, the goodness in self and thus all around will only increase so much or more!

So I want to have faith, that will assure me that my will is not directing me the wrong way!

See you soon, in the domain of sheer existence at will, in that region of hope where we find all answers but they are irrelevant, where we stop asking which way heaven, and thus findout, it is Heaven all the way!

It is immense pleasure to be writing again, but do forgive me for being so irregular ! :P

Such a long journey!!

So, well, am back after this disturbing hiatus.
Disturbing hiatus, because a hiatus is probably a disturbing period. I mean, look at Egypt, Libya, Tunisia....and may be...may be....who knows...China...after some time. I do feel that oppression is a good catalyst for brewing trouble. and China is presently trying to balance a see-saw, well no doubt about that. One one side it has this educated subject and on the other side it has it's own anachronistic, but functional, bureaucracy. Correct me if I am wrong.
A difficult question then arises. What were the masses doing for the past 30-41 years. It won't take an expert to answer that this is not the same mass.
the Feb 21 issue of Outlook, Mr. Vinod Mehta, in the column "Delhi Diary" writes that just bacause an uprising isn't in the offing in India, doesn't mean India is any better. Infact, like many others he compares Elections with the Pressure cookers safety valve. And to support this he offers figures comparing Per Capita Income of Egypt and Per Capita Income of a particular adivasi tribe in India. I find this comparison irrelevant. I am not taking sides, even if I should like to do that. But the fact that India has maintained that SYSTEM of Democracy, itself seems to me a milestone. And i still see how people remember the emergency, not too dearly. Though ofcourse the exception is Gurcharan Das, who, in his book "India Unbound" states that "the emergency was too good to last". But these are subjective statements. From what I see today, with the benefit of hindsight, i can say, Emergency might have been good or bad, but it did no good that was enduring.
And at the end we come to the same old statement..."All spent, and nothing endures".
So here comes an end to my blabber..............blah....blah....blah....
P.S.
I am trying to explain my self a few things ....
Like T. S. Eliot, who does not want to ASK for this man's favor or that man's scope, am too obviously left with that wretched feeling that leaves you with one total satisfaction of having tried. That gives you the strength to go on and NEVER look back, not in anger, not remorse, not in revelry either.

Pedestrian at Priority

Hi,

I read this somewhere,

"Just to remind myself and whoever wished to be; Today is the first day of the rest of life...just live it." Kudos to life.
And coming to USA, I have got a great deal lot to tell. I treasure my wide eyed wonder that usually surfaces and will show up again and again till the time the rigmarole of the daily life makes my marrow go callous.

One thing you can't help about noticing in this country is "SPACE", tangible and intangible, Space to move about and space to think through as you do so. They aren't bothered by new faces, I mean the Americans. I go for a walk everyday, and I haven't had an experience when somebody has not wished me a Good Morning or Evening. Seemingly this is a very minor point that you smile at somebody, wish somebody, though you never came across that person in the past and it is very unsure that it may happen in the future too. But to me it is symbolic of the pace with which they can cope up or even embrace CHANGE. I hope I am not exaggerating the significance of my observation lest it might degenerate in to being treated as a poetic license. But tell me, Don't you agree?

The other thing that stands out is the respect for the "Pedestrian and cyclewala's". At the Traffic Signal is written "Vehicles must give way to pedestrians".There is a seperate lane for Bikers!

On the toll booths on a highway, you can say where the possibility of finding a pedestrian is approximately nil, it is written with black on yellow, "WATCH OUT FOR PEDESTRIANS".

Walking is such a convenient option here with a whole lane dedicated to you!!

Everyday I have a a whole lot of arguments and counter arguments with myself. When I am in the kitchen, I think the best invention in the world is the TISSUE. Often after having an Orbit after a meal, I feel the chewing gum is the best invention ever, otherwise I also include internet,
the micro-wave oven, etc, etc.

But the point that I am trying to make is that every effort is made so that the human effort required per task can be minimized.

But I miss being on my own here. In India it was so easy to be on your own. We have buses that take care of the majority that does not own an automobile. Here I am not so sure of that. Presently I feel crippled without a car. But my friend in Newark says that the train service in NJ and NY is good. Did I not say, I am very new here!

I am in no case denigrating India for not having all things that USA has to offer, but yes I do wish that someday, and I hope that day soon turns up, common man will be the VIP in India. Things are difficult, looking at our geography, our population, level of technology, etc. but things are possible.

Personally, I have great respect for the Delhi Metro, it makes life convenient for that common man who votes, works, and hopes that someday we will be THERE!

Wonderstruck!!

“And I feel the excitement that only a free man can feel, at the beginning of his long journey, the conclusion of which is uncertain.
I hope to cross the border,
I hope to shake hands with my friend,
I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams….I Hope.”

Thus Red meets his friend Andy just at the Pacific…I am in love with this dialogue-“Hope is a good thing, in fact the best of things, and good things never die!”

How true…good things never die! Actually we never let go of good things…we do not want to!!
“Rehna tu, hai jaise tu, thoda sa dard tu, thoda sukoon, thoda sa resham, tu humdum, thoda sa khurdura, kabhi to lad jaye, ya ad jaye, ya masti se bharaa, tujhe badalna, na chahoon, ratti bhar bhi sanam, bina sajaawat, banaawat, na zyada na hi kam!!”

The song articulates that wretched feeling that a pining lover undergoes…at her wanton desired one…I am a lover, my love is life. How fickle it is, like a mistress with severe mood swings, but also like a mother that scolds the child when there is some mistake!!

I can run and hide from all of you…, but not from my life, THE CONSCIENCE, it follows me wherever I go!! So it is impossible to leave anything unfinished here, in this territory, called life, sooner or later you will have to do it…sooner or later define success or failure in our pathetic jargons…sooner or later will decide intelligence and , and Ourselves. Myself!!
When I was 20, and committed a mistake, I found it better to NOT admit, but today, when am 25, I find it easier admitting it…these five years have not changed me much , but have taught me that- Things will not always go my way!!
I am better off being wrong, because when I am right, I am dangerous!!-so says my anger control point-No.4.
Life is not destiny, it is not fate. Life is a bunch of options and you have time to choose and not choose, Time to say hi or just pass as if you never met, Time to sleep and pass sleepless nights, Time to think or just buy Time, Time to ask questions or silence those asking you, Time to admit, Time to defend, Time, Time , Time…you have a benefit of hindsight, but of foresight, no, I have none!!

I am , today I can say, very happy with the choices I have made, the blunders that owe something to me…but , I hope I have learnt , I am happy that I was criticized by somebody so severely that it just seemed impossible not to take it seriously…I have made my choices…and will make a many…I hope I do not repeat mistakes, I hope I understand my own weaknesses, I hope I be contrite at my mistakes, I hope I rejoice at this point when I know-That- I DESERVE TO LEARN- Goodday!!

Don't feel good:(

Hi,
I hope I have been good all along...no matter how much you try , but life never turns out purrfect...the most curious thing about it is that it is unpredictable. Sometimes defying reason as if on purpose...and sometimes out there on cue to help you..miscievous ...if that is not a euphemism...let it be only life...no synonym exists!!
Let us see what..
1 Ankita leaving today, yes, am not feeling too good about it...there is some sort of a charisma in her that enlivens every moment that I spend with her...sometimes illogical...she sometimes mutters the most witty epigrams..huhh! Unlike me and my mom...who are so used to eclat that now our marrow got callous and we re intereset in some simple things...But ankita is very different...she has intuitive innocence...that goes a long way to help her...you don't find many people like her...I have found none...not becoz she is my sister...I hope that is not the reason...atleast not intended...umm!! I write later....bye!!

Do they speak!!

That's near Maan Sarovar...

This is the recent visit to Haridwar, in the Ashram where we put up!!

Ganga Ghat in Kumbh-just before sandhya Aarti!

This is the only picture of Father Pinto that I have!! I remember him as the best teacher and guide...I will see you again Father!!

Some Photu's for my own benefit...

An HR article written for a consultancy :))

Do something every day that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
Mark Twain

Middle Management Positions that our free market offers are not free enough, neither for the employee nor for the employer. And whatever freedom is available with the CTC, is corrupted due to the boredom that besets organizational work. Yes, our able HR Executives will argue that there are planned a surfeit of “Activities” to keep the employees away from that insidious operator, but nothing is far from reality. Boredom Exists and if we can, someday, calculate the cost of that boredom, it will be formidable at the least.
First, according to psychologists there can be “n” number of reasons for boredom, but I will narrow them down to dwell with in the organizational ambit
Excessive hierarchy- Series of “Approvals and signatures” on a document lead to a protracted process. The intent of such formats is laudable no doubt, but the effect is lack of accountability. That dynamism of “owning up to the task” is lost and mediocrity is fostered.
The Bottleneck- Remember E.Goldratt’s “The Goal”, “If my efficiency is ascertained by the next slowest process, I’d better work at that pace”.
The Job Allocated: If what is to be done is not at par with the capacity of the employee, but above or below her working average, rethink allocation!
How high may I fly: Stagnation. “However hard I work, there is no recognition, leave aside rewards.”
Partiality: This follows us right from the primary school classrooms up to the corporate board-rooms.
Like I said, “n” number of reasons. The underlying malaise for most of these is fortunately (or unfortunately) is lack of empowerment. Employees, the productive ones (there are two types of these, One-who really do the job well, Two-those who want to show that they can do the job well!) need that push that the mother eagle gives to her eaglets so that they venture out in to the skies! In organizational context, this push is Empowerment.

In their book “Blue Ocean Strategy” Chan Kim and Renee Mauborgne, both professors from INSEAD, discuss how to “CREATE” virgin market spaces, the Blue (unexplored) Oceans away from the Red Oceans of bloody competition. This book deals essentially with marketing. But I find its application almost as much in HR as in Marketing. It was Vineet Nayyar of HCL Technologies, who, for the first time used this term. And believe me, it is a mesmerizing one.

THE BLUE OCEAN EMPLOYEE EXPERIENCE

He equated a company to a big group of several sub-companies. Each of these subs’s handled by a group of employees. Now each employee is the owner of his sub. The performance of the sub is her performance and vice-versa. This concept is not a virgin one. It has been tried in the Garment industry where it is called a modular system of manufacturing. The only requirement of this system is that the people in the process should be dynamic and Multi skilled. It is the process that makes them such. They own up to collective success or failure, they make better team-workers, they do quality work and the co-ordination amongst the team members is such that occasional absence of one team member does not hamper the productivity of the group.

This is what the 21st century knowledge economy is all about.

Empowerment will not make breakthrough, but it will definitely make a space for it. That is what we have to do, make a space, a void and then fill it!

I seem to be savoring a little pedantry, but let me present an improvisation. The first rule of empowerment is to “value” contributions, any contribution to the organizational goal, to give space to ideas, any idea that is reasonably positive. This works as a message “Your contribution is Valuable, Keep giving”, “Your ideas are helping us think, Pour in!” Everybody likes feeling important. Imagine a birthday with nobody to wish you!

Sam Walton appreciates competition with in the organization, but he clarifies that pitting one against another is not the same as creating factions within. Beware of factions, if you see somebody making them, break them. But they are not so evident, and so the remedy is to be proactive and nip them in the bud. Factions are the No.1 enemy of the organization. They make it fall within! Imagine a family in which children do not love their parents, Fallout is similar for organizations with schisms- You are then empowering schisms.
All of us have subtle preferences, and as long as they are subtle, it’s okay. But if they are evident then they will simply feed gossip! Everybody wants to be the boss’s favorite but the boss should like being Everyone’s favorite i.e. IMPARTIAL BEHAVIOUR.

In Guy Finley’s words,
Everything and everybody that resists correction is part of the problem.

Empowerment speaks when one respects one’s job, value’s oneself as an important link not as a cog in the wheel which can be easily replaced. It speaks when a mistake can be pinned down to one process. Not playing pass!
There will be theories and suggestions galore for posterity and later, but the execution is the main problem! We know it is good, but how to go about doing it. Whose function is it to empower the employees-HR or Top Management! We’d say both! But that is the part of the problem! Something that one OR the other could do, and consequently neither did! But is it a function at all? I object! Empowerment is not anybody’s function. It is a policy. If employees are empowered, it is there in the fabric of the organization. Can appreciation be a function? Can “Impartial Behavior” be a function? These are values, not functions or responsibilities.
“I work with the XYZ concern” OR “I work in the XYZ concern” there is a whale of a difference! Let’s be the first statement!
Have a Good Day!!
-Ettishri B Rajput

Larking About...

Once upon a time in India, was a girl, who from her childhood was endowed with great things. She had marvellous parents, who loved her sister and herself, and most importantly loved each other. She had a very good friend stating nearby, walking back from school together, everyday, playing together everyday, competing as well, snitching and skirmishes, some long squabbles which are too short by worldly standards, they shared. There was one more aspect of her childhood, Her Sister, the most beautiful of ALL sisters in the world. And she herself was the most pugnacious one. She played with neighbourhood boys, and easily dominated them just as One of them. It was difficult for the boys to ignore a girl so WELL-BUILT. Her mother always tried to inculcate a sense of excellence in her, and it really showed, she never had to be goaded to her books. She really cruised and glided. That was her disposition. She wrote the professions of her preference on the house furniture. Her father described her as one of "Sky is the Limit" one's.
God has abided by her all the time and I hope now she can be just as she was, to long back as she sees, footprints are still intact on those sands that never occurred to her so plainly distant and barren as they do today. I hope her journey be a long one, and satisfactory ans that she arrive "not a moment too soon", for the "Work of Creation is never without travail". Amen!!

LOCATE THE SKULL...Holbein the genius of rendering!

This is a spectacular exemplar in rendering. I must show this to my friend Nikki, who will only tell me she already knows it, because she is an artist (Her Majesty deigned to make my portrait on my 24th birthday while Nalini held a torch under my face-due to the power cut-and thanks to them that the portrait came out better than the object.;) ). Have a look at this pic, it is a very celebrated one!! And also locate the skull while viewing it from an Acute angle!! Voila!!

DISCOVERY!

No, it is not that great a discovery like found water on Moon...or in a municipalty tap...!!
Okay, enough of my insensible unadorned wit. But you will bless me for what I have found for you.
One is http://www.onelife.com/; a website dedicated to an age old question about our Culture, questions are enlightening. Haven't read all of it, but will write a feedback as and when I do.
Second in http://bedouina.typepad.com/doves_eye/2008/10/hello-kind-world.html ,It is really moving how this lady writes. Fab!!

Hats Off McQueen!

I Dozed off with McQueen in my hands!!

It was the year 2006. My first year in NIFT, New Delhi (Masters in Fashion Technology-AP). The very honourable and an oracle in matters of spotting fashion trends-Ms. Bani Jha of the FD(Fashion Design Dept) took some of our lectures on Overview Of the Global Fashion Industry. It was from her that I first heard about Lee "Alexander" McQueen. It Definintely did not impress me much at that time, because I wasn't much interested as I understood little due to my own immature portrayal of Apparel Design and overmuch dependence on technicalities, which no matter have tehir own place in the sun but not before Inspiration and Imagination...but what struck a chord was the Man's originality and how he never repeated "Anything" . His level of committment is what I would like to reach to. From Savile Row to Puma Alexander McQueen, he was A Class Apart.

But I was not any good for OGFI lectures (for that matter any lecture after lunch), i usually tried & occupied a far off seat in the lengthy PJ Hall (it is "PJ" ie;Pupul Jaykar so that i do not let you make nerdy guesses :)!!), so that I save myself from being spotted dozing (and there was a fair chance i would be spotted). But I know what I have missed when I dozed with Mcqueen's design appreciation notes in my hands, and Bani Ma'am, was too genteel a women to humiliate me, spoilt a bit, I am,but only to make amends.

Mcqueen was a genius...My tribute to him...I will learn Appreciation Of Design.

P.S. Once I got a bit embarassed by my own sleeping habits and I used to carry a cup of tea to ALL classes after Lunch break(keeping in mind the faculty).

Qusetions MICA

What would happen if all human beings wore the same type of clothes> (same colour and design)?Write at least three benefits and three negative effects of it in the appropriate space in answer

Dear Mr. Question Maker,If everyone here on earth wears clothes with the same colour and design, i will tell you what will happen-
First the Negatives (so that you end up happy :))-
1. I will lose my job, my career, my everything-I am a Fashion Technologist (NIFT will close down and lost in the oblivion...eerie!!).
2. It will be a great difficulty deciding "which colour" and "which design" before this uniformity is forced upon-right from the rocket scientist to out motor mouth media people will be engaged in this "decisive decision making", thus, leaving little time for other more useful things. We will lose a lot of money per day till this issue is sorted out.
3. For believers-God will repent giving us brains!!
God help blind dates-How will "they" "find"each other :
Now the positives-
1. Oppurtunity of a lifetime for burglary and mugging industry-we all will have a benefit of doubt-remember the age old question asked in detective series for scouting out the thief-"Kapde kya pehne the?" No answer to that then.;)
2. About a 100 million dollars saved each day...or what ever is the figure for 'Apparel purchased per day"'. may be this can counter the No.2 negative.
3. A whole dimension of aspirations will disappear. That will definitely mean faded our motivation towards material wealth. Is that a positive, well if we are ready to become saints....
In essence the world will become too "Good" to live in!!
For patrons of equality, let us try out easier areas first, begin with banker's salaries!!

Who am I ?

Hi, I updated and revamped my blog, congratulations you can savour a little colour now that...
Up Above the world so mache, my title is inspired by my Nephew's garbled words. This a classic, my 2 year old nephew, Master Vedu used to sing song Twinkle-Twinkle in this way....he had sth peculiar, he'w garble the whole thing to his worthy liking and speak only that way, like Goji, for a doggi....he made an "O", as if making a flower...But alas, his creativity had to be nipped in the bud, feel bad...he must still be creative, but we must tame him! When we don't have reasons, anything said several times and it will be believed. So that's not a difficult task now, moreover it is outsourced to schools nowadays!!
I just wish one thing, I dont like it when anybody loses herself in the whole mad world, I hate it when I get that wretched feeling that I may lose myself in this whole manouevre! That's me-Chintamani-Ettishri Rajput-Yes that is my real name!!

TodayI talked to mamma bout different swamis and yogis like swami Vivekanand, or Yoganand Paramhansa, why can't we be like them? She said they are divine souls!! Aren't we...no I did not ask that, but still, we can be good at whatever we do! Right...I still have to improve a lot in all areas of life. When that is not the easiest thing to do, it is the only one possible! Why is it so difficult to improve our self???
BIG Question?
First why is it so difficult to admit that we need improvement?

Second, why is it so hard to believe that we can be better?

Third, Why do we love ourselves so much, with so many faults, we excuse ourself, which is undoubtedly important, but never learning to forgive somebody else?

Four, In your mistakes why do I not see myself, In your gain why do I see my loss, in your pleasure why do I see my pain?? (In me don't you see yourself?)

Five, why do I blame others, There is good story here! A man, paralysed, lying on his deathbed spoke to his wife thus,"you were there with me when I was fired from my job, when my mortgaged home could not be salvaged, when that happless accident mutilated my right arm, when my business could not seem to work and at the end was foreclosed, you were there all through! Now I realise you only brought me Bad luck!"

Why do I never seem to be able to get hold of myself, the self-elusive self?

And when I do, why is it so difficult to follow through with myself, with somebody else it is always easy?
Why why why the heck!
Because, probably I feel that I am already so good...smetimes I feel If all of us would some how had been made ina way that we would be able to see our own face in all else's...there wouldn't be much of the chaos that dwells here! as Gulzar says "chalo hum sab aayine pehne".

Probably, I do know about my ineffeiciencies and i successfully hide them under the drapes of Maya, saying "Ok am bad...is he/she any better"!
Here Iam okay you're okay helped me- It says "Blaming your faults on your nature doesn't change the natre of your faults"
We want to "reform"our spouse, our kid, some co-worker, but who is eluding us...not the world, neither its realities....we always elude ourselves. This "I", who keeps eluding me, is a fucking coward, it never likes being brought to justice but I am a diehard litigator...atleast for others , then who is this "Me"who does not like what I seemingly like, who wins when i lose, who is the part of the problem that resists correction? WHO AFTER ALL IS THIS ME?

Dear God

Dear God,
I decided to write to you on my blog that is not very much visited by people but I make this attempt,
God, I wish to tell you that , it is true that I do not have all the intelligence in the world, nor all resources not even half of those that might be needed for a journey that I intend to make, I may not be exceptionally sure of my capabilities, I might not be the perfect pick for the job, bu as Shelly says- wilt thou accept not, the worship that the heart lifts above and the heavens reject Not...God wih these and yet many other imperfections and wasteful flaws, I am ready, ready to serve, I know that I can do everything through you, Please give me strength and Goodwill!!
ANd thank you for what you have given me, but let me have a chance to give back!! And give me the strength to make myself worth it!!
Amen.

For the Fallen

With proud thanksgiving, a mother for her children,

England mourns for her dead across the sea.

Flesh of her flesh they were, spirit of her spirit,

Fallen in the cause of the free.

Solemn the drums thrill; Death august and royal

Sings sorrow up into immortal spheres,

There is music in the midst of desolation

And a glory that shines upon our tears.

They went with songs to the battle, they were young,

Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow.

They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted;

They fell with their faces to the foe.

They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old:

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning

We will remember them.

They mingle not with their laughing comrades again;

They sit no more at familiar tables of home;

They have no lot in the labour of the day-time;

They sleep beyond England's foam.

But where our desires are and our hopes profound,

Felt as a well-spring that is hidden from sight,

To the innermost heart of their own land they are known

As the stars are known to the Night;

As the stars that shall be bright when we are dust

Moving in marches upon the heavenly plain,

As the stars that are starry in the time of our darkness,

To the end, to the end, they remain.

Wonderful piece of war poetry by Laurence binyon...This i quote from the blog http://war-poets.blogspot.com/.

This is the first time that I read a war poetry...well not the one by binyon's but one about the Old Lie...Drastic is a euphemism...and the one quote above will seem romatic when compared to that one ..."Dulce et Decorum", I felt this as and when I read about Wilfred Owen, Wasn't he in a similar predicament as faced by arjuna in kurukshetra...But Lord Krishna and his Bhagvad Gita are not things out there ...tangible stuff.but they are in here! While I felt ...have no words ...how to describe what it might be at the front line..and even now what it is like at other warfronts.But For me.I felt ashamed...If an oppurtunity cost is calculated for every oppurtunity given to me...which I either did not recognize or was too lazy or distracted or just indifferent to pay heed to....it would be very high...I hope I now make no further addition to it!!