Here, in this particular post, i am talking of love in a way, that a person loves her work, her passion, love for any creative expression, be it tangible, audible, but flowing right from the heart. Such love is indifferent to bouquets and brickbats the we may be greeted with on our way to where we want to go. Such love that is self-sufficient is not a "Mauhtaj" of an external object of desire, not of approvals and results/rewards are undesired and usually uncared for. The love that will make "our" definition of love seem alien and so much painful and self-defeating.
And I am so sorry that I have no words to define such a love.
I want to write to my Creator that let me be blessed with that brand of love, for with out the Supreme sanction such a great gift can not be received. Thank you for brandishing my vain goals and dressing down my articulations and affectations. I am not sorry for them as they brought me closer to you somehow. It is so surprising that most insults, bad times and tough ordeals have infact brought me closer to myself, brought me closer to the one who is the source of such love. In all the defeats and ordeals faced until now, there hasn't been one that was without a reason. And the reason has always brought one closer to reality, humbled me and made me more human. Taught me that everything pure and perfect exists and that too much closer than we can imagine, that is with in. But it is most difficult to appreciate things that are closer, they seem too ordianry to be appreciated. And the ordinary is actually the most valuable-I am thankful that there is no rationing on the most important things in life. Thank you, as what ever is most necessary for a great survival, has been given to me free of cost. Thank you God, this is the first time I go public with such heartfelt thanks.
Days have been particulary taxing and unusual, but with in this turmoil and madness, I have found a purpose, a place, a place that is virgin, uncharted by fears, good, bad, ugly, right or wrongs. That is the kingdom of dreams, and i can fly over to that place as and when i find myself in an unsolvable dilemma, most of the problems that one encounters, one has no power to solve, but possesses only resource. For, the only power granted to humankind is Will-power and faith, all others are resources to get the tinkering right. I do not blame you if you do not believe me, cause just some time back all this was as alien to me as it may today sound to you. But, I have come to believe that the greatest happiness is the one delivered, and the greatest pain is that suffered in seclusion and loneliness. I pray very earnestly that may no one suffer such pain ever. We are all enough fortunate to share grief, our's or someone else's. The greatest fear is that of weakness, of impending sorrow, of impending doom. The greatest freedom is freedom from this fear and the greatest benefactor is faith and love. The greatest teacher is illusion that greets us all the way, and one by one it lifts those veils, tantalizing and never showing its true face for it has none. But illusion has taught one that lessons are meant to be learnt, veils to be lifted and life enjoyed. Wit all its vagaries and travails, life is a great experience. i am happy i am having this.
Believe me, today I want to thank God for the ordeals placed before me, Tough tests keep us focussed on what is necessary and ignore what is superficial.
Coming back to that love, which is like a prayer offered, a dua proffered, a hand held on a rough road, an unforgettable experience, so pure that you do not want to disturb its purity by discussing it, it is only to be experienced, that is what it was made for, that is what life was made for, Experience, and learning. If there is one healer ever created, it is graitude, being grateful makes us happiest. Am I asking for too much and getting too misty about things,....may be! but this is a free flow of thoughts and nothings kinda can successfully stop it.
Have a great time till we meet again. Love yourself and the ordianry, for that is the most important.
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