Wonderstruck!!

“And I feel the excitement that only a free man can feel, at the beginning of his long journey, the conclusion of which is uncertain.
I hope to cross the border,
I hope to shake hands with my friend,
I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams….I Hope.”

Thus Red meets his friend Andy just at the Pacific…I am in love with this dialogue-“Hope is a good thing, in fact the best of things, and good things never die!”

How true…good things never die! Actually we never let go of good things…we do not want to!!
“Rehna tu, hai jaise tu, thoda sa dard tu, thoda sukoon, thoda sa resham, tu humdum, thoda sa khurdura, kabhi to lad jaye, ya ad jaye, ya masti se bharaa, tujhe badalna, na chahoon, ratti bhar bhi sanam, bina sajaawat, banaawat, na zyada na hi kam!!”

The song articulates that wretched feeling that a pining lover undergoes…at her wanton desired one…I am a lover, my love is life. How fickle it is, like a mistress with severe mood swings, but also like a mother that scolds the child when there is some mistake!!

I can run and hide from all of you…, but not from my life, THE CONSCIENCE, it follows me wherever I go!! So it is impossible to leave anything unfinished here, in this territory, called life, sooner or later you will have to do it…sooner or later define success or failure in our pathetic jargons…sooner or later will decide intelligence and , and Ourselves. Myself!!
When I was 20, and committed a mistake, I found it better to NOT admit, but today, when am 25, I find it easier admitting it…these five years have not changed me much , but have taught me that- Things will not always go my way!!
I am better off being wrong, because when I am right, I am dangerous!!-so says my anger control point-No.4.
Life is not destiny, it is not fate. Life is a bunch of options and you have time to choose and not choose, Time to say hi or just pass as if you never met, Time to sleep and pass sleepless nights, Time to think or just buy Time, Time to ask questions or silence those asking you, Time to admit, Time to defend, Time, Time , Time…you have a benefit of hindsight, but of foresight, no, I have none!!

I am , today I can say, very happy with the choices I have made, the blunders that owe something to me…but , I hope I have learnt , I am happy that I was criticized by somebody so severely that it just seemed impossible not to take it seriously…I have made my choices…and will make a many…I hope I do not repeat mistakes, I hope I understand my own weaknesses, I hope I be contrite at my mistakes, I hope I rejoice at this point when I know-That- I DESERVE TO LEARN- Goodday!!